The big idea
🤝
Positions clash. Interests often do not.
Most people treat negotiation as a contest to win, which reliably produces worse outcomes and damaged relationships.
Communication & Argumentation · Lesson 4
Negotiation and Conflict Resolution
beginner⏱ 18 min · 7 cards
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Position or Interest?
“"I need the report by Friday."”
Get from the stated position to the underlying interest.
Positions clash; the interests underneath them often do not.
Get from what they say to why they want it.
Key term
The measure of any offer
What tells you whether a deal is good?
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Your BATNA
Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement — what you’ll do if this fails. An offer is good or bad only relative to it. Improving your BATNA beats any tactic at the table.
The orange
Expand before dividing
Two people want one orange. Split it, and each gets half. Ask why — one wants juice, one wants peel for baking — and both get everything.
The positions were incompatible; the interests were complementary. You only discover that by asking.
Nuance
Hard on the problem
Think like a Maester
Keep the substance and the relationship apart. "I disagree with this plan" is about the problem. "You always do this" ends the negotiation.
Quick check
What are the three parts of an argument, and which is most often omitted?
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