The big idea
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The kind thing and the honest thing are usually the same
Feedback given poorly wounds without helping; received poorly is deflected before it can help.
Communication & Argumentation · Lesson 6
Giving and Receiving Feedback
beginner⏱ 17 min · 7 cards
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Fix the Feedback
“"In the quarterly report, the summary figures didn\u2019t match the tables, so I wasn\u2019t sure which to trust."”
Which of these can the receiver actually act on?
State what you saw and the effect it had. Leave the mind-reading out.
Turn vague or judgemental feedback into something actionable.
Key term
A structure that works
How do you deliver criticism with nothing to argue with?
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Situation – Behaviour – Impact
When and where, what you observed factually, and the effect it had. No judgement, no character claim — just what happened and what it did.
The common failure
Ruinous empathy
Radical candour maps feedback on caring and challenging. The frequent failure is high care, low challenge — so worried about feelings the useful thing goes unsaid.
It feels kind and helps no one. Most people withhold the specific criticism someone needed, and call the withholding consideration.
Nuance
Receiving it
Think like a Maester
Ask a clarifying question before you say anything else. The reflex to defend is what stops you hearing the one thing that would have helped.
Quick check
What is the correct measure of whether you communicated well?
You did it
Nice work
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