The big idea
👂
Listening is not the pause before talking
It is active reconstruction of another person’s meaning — and most people do it badly.
Communication & Argumentation · Lesson 4
Active Listening
beginner⏱ 16 min · 7 cards
Try it
Reply or Understand?
“"We have to, the deadline\u2019s fixed and marketing\u2019s scheduled."”
"I don\u2019t think we should launch next week." Which responses actually listened?
Tell responses built by listening from those built while waiting.
Key term
The one technique
What is the most powerful listening move?
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Paraphrasing
Say their point back in your own words and let them confirm. It forces you to have understood, lets them correct, and signals you listened — the receiver-side read-back.
Crisis negotiation
Listen before you persuade
Hostage negotiators lead with labelling and paraphrasing, not argument. A person who does not feel heard cannot be moved — their attention is entirely on being understood.
Only once they register that you grasped their position does any influence become possible.
Nuance
Before you disagree
Think like a Maester
State the other position so well they say "yes, exactly." Until you can, you are arguing with a version of them you invented.
Quick check
What is the correct measure of whether you communicated well?
You did it
Nice work
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